diet coke for breakfast

Thursday, August 07, 2003

Posted by Jake

Gore's Major Policy Speech Called 'Instant Classic'
(2003-08-07) -- In his first 'major policy speech' since his Saturday Night Live appearance, former Vice President Al Gore today laid out 'a statesman-like vision for America'.

Political scientists and Constitutional scholars have already dubbed the speech a 'classic' calling it the 'Trousers Ablaze Manifesto.'

'Mr. Gore demonstrated his towering intellect,' said one unnamed scholar. 'He essentially said to the President of the United States, 'Liar, Liar, pants on fire!' But it was the way he said it that will ensconce this address in the annals of majestic oratory.'

At a pace reminiscent of a digital metronome, Mr. Gore analyzed the policies of the Bush administration, and concluded 'everything Bush says is a big fat lie, or rather a pattern of big fat lies.'

Scholars continue to lament the passing of this 'policy genius' from the political scene. As one noted, 'Mr. Gore sounded very ex-vice-presidential.'

A good analysis about why Gore is full of s-- is provided by Brian Carnell. As if you didn't know.


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